Alexander Patton sang A Little Lovin’ Sometimes, a soul record that spun him into superstar recognition (see video above). His voice fills the room in my little cozy bungalow and ever so often, you might catch a glimpse of me dancing across the wooden floor boards smiling to myself.
Everyone needs a little love, that’s how humans were created – with and by love.
Too many people get caught up in the stresses and turmoil of life so often that many begin showing signs of depression, anxiety, and a lack of self-worth early on in their teenage years. About 14.8 million American adults face major depressive disorders according to the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance. Many more remain undiagnosed and left to fend for themselves.
Why then, with a soulful voice like Patton’s and an awesomely cheerful tune, are people still moping around and struggling to deal with life? Can’t we all just play and replay this song and stay happy?
A Lesson from My Struggle
I’m human too. While I sit here and try to make everyone happy, I’ve had my battles. No, I’ve never been diagnosed with depression but at the low points of my existence, I’ve sat in the corner and cried like there was no tomorrow. Depression is real and it feeds off your esteem, worth, and any kind of hope and faith you could possibly have.
I recall several turning points in my life when I thought there was nothing I could possibly do to make anything better. My life story is one of many struggles, a long uphill battle with the impossible. Till today, I find myself in my kitty corner (a little meditation area I’ve created by the window) pondering over how I made it this far and what might come next. Will any of this ever end?
It wasn’t till one cold evening that I noticed the little howling of the wind outside my window and heard the leaves rustling against each other. The more intently I listened, the further away my mind drifted from my worries. And the longer I listened, the longer I wasn’t worrying anymore.
When I play Patton’s tune, it’s like listening to the wind and the leaves. I feel the universe sending me love, as if it was really there. The more I felt it, the more I received.
If anything I knew in those moments, that the universe was listening to me. Wherever that love was coming from didn’t matter. The point is that I felt love.
My first inclination, after a huge disappointment and loss of what I thought was the ideal love story, was to seek love from someone else. I searched for love in people, another human being who I thought could take the pain away and make me feel better. I longed for the love of another person and I hungered to be held and kissed the way lovers do.
Little did I know that it was impossible to expect anyone to love me at that point because I didn’t love myself. How could anyone else look at me and think, “Hey, I love her” when I couldn’t find anything about me to love anyway! Back to square one…
The voice in my head (someone else’s obviously) had shattered my self-esteem and every ounce of confidence I ever had. It was on a perpetual loop that echoed, “You aren’t good enough.” Each time, it got louder and louder. It had to stop before it swallowed me into a dark pit that would be too far down for me to pull myself out.
It wasn’t till someone actually told me that I am good enough that I actually stopped in the midst of wallowing in self-pity and started to see all the things I can do and have done. What was so bad being me? Maybe I’m not so bad after all!
My Mantra for turning my life around: I am good enough.
Each time I felt like utter crap, I asked for a hug from those around me. Each moment I felt like breaking down, I gave someone a hug. No wonder they say hugs are good for you. If I had known sooner, I would have hugged everyone! (No, actually that would be weird.)
Love is All Around
Have you ever stopped to pet a dog on the street and it would come right to you to lick your hand or sniff your foot? Or made funny faces at a baby while waiting in line and she would smile right back at you?
Have you stopped to wonder what all that means? Where is all this coming from? I used to ask myself if that dog just liked the lotion I put on my hand earlier today and maybe to these four-legged creatures, lotion just doesn’t taste like how we humans taste it! LOL
As crazy as it sounds, these encounters every day are acts of love, whether you believe it or not. I’m not referring to the crazy kind of love between two people. There is a more innocent, pure, and honest love that everyone and everything has around you. These little signs of affection carry a tinge of love that if collected in a bottle, would soon quickly fill up. Imagine having to buy crates of mason jars just to contain all this love!
As you grieve for your past or the future that might never be, take a moment to pause and look around you. Offer someone close a hug if they seem down or out. You just never know what a difference that hug could make to them, and yourself!
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