I recently read about Nicole Kidman winning an Emmy for Big Little Lies, a 2017 HBO mini-series starring Reese Witherspoon, Shailene Woodley, and Nicole Kidman. The show also won several other awards that evening, but none struck me more than Kidman playing the role of an abused wife, mother to two boys, and victim to her batterer. This great cast of three women in the TV series opened eyes and unraveled the truth about domestic violence and how victims often live through it.
Almost a year since my last post, and while I’ve continued to advocate and attempt to lift the ones who cross my path “up” I haven’t been able to share what I know best due to my life experiences.
Truth is, it has been a difficult year to write anything, let alone pen my excruciating year-span of continued abuse (by proxy) down on a blog. We’ve all heard that it never ends, yet you only really realize how bad it can keep getting when you actually have to live through it. Continue reading
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month… It has been a tough month for many, even for those who have healed.
If you noticed, I haven’t written much for a long time, not because I didn’t, but because I couldn’t. Sometimes life throws surprises (nasty ones) at you and drags you a little lower than you thought you had been. When October befalls, it gets even worse…
I had chosen to leave in September three years ago, and by the time I was on the journey out of hell, October was here and the campaigns had begun. Signs were everywhere no matter how far we tried to run. It was hard, and though I thought I had toughened up, October still hurts…
I fear the recluse of my own soul,
I fear I’m about to lose control.
I counter the sins of my enemies,
Then fight my own demons that dwell within me.
The truth it hurts, beseeches my heart,
The glorified pain that steers my path.
A mind with no being fights twice as hard,
To learn that what’s sacred will be torn apart.
So numb that my existence seems to cease,
So real this revenge they just can’t resist.
In my mortal being, I take all the blame,
For someone’s mistakes that have caused us this pain.
Track forward another ten years from right now,
Will I still be here, will I still be around.
As the waves wash upon my bitter needs,
God comes to me now and makes me complete.
Once blinded but now I can see,
The deepest and darkest secrets inside thee.
When my devils asleep and my mind’s all agile,
I will torment thy flesh so you feel my pain all this while.